Creative Puns

I just got an email from some relatives in Utah and thought I'd let you in on some of the funnier parts of it. Here goes!

CREATIVE PUNS FOR "EDUCATED" MINDS

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table
was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too
much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan
island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. A man watched the sunset and wondered where the
sun had gone. Then it dawned on him

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra
class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got
a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll
still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was
cited for littering

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a
banana.

10. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the
hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here;
I'll go on a head.'

11. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

12. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
'Keep off the Grass.'

13. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken
to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to
ask how he was, a nurse said 'No change yet.'

14. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

15. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison
was a small medium at large.

16. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper
spray is now a seasoned veteran

17. A backward poet writes inverse.